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“ Of course sweetie,” I follow as she leads me up the stairs. After about three steps or so she stops and turns, all she says is, “Santa,” and points back toward the tree. Looking back I see the milk and the plate with the cookies on it, I go back and get the cookies and eat them, finishing off the milk at the same time. I Return to the stairs, she smiles, holds out her hand and we start back up the stairs and go into her room. I help her into bed, tuck her in and give her forehead a little. "We've been chatting about oldtimes and school and things.....haven't we Timmy?" She said as sheelaborated. I then told my foster mom I would be right back to setthe table then excused myself to go to the bathroom. Luckily, nobodysuspected a thing or knew what Madge had put me through once again!I was shaken but managed to survive that incident and dinner but theconversation afterwards chilled me to the bone. My foster parentswere indeed going to divorce, they were moving out and going. .I told her ' you can save that emotional blackmail crap, It aint gonna work on me''I told her ''teri top uttar chikni, nahi toh main tera bahut burra haal kar dunga''…she was cursing her fate…she was unwilling…i tried to choke her…then I removed her shirt turning her around…muah…ahhh…yes..youre so sexy honey…I wanted you for so long…I licked her neck from behind and bit her back..leaving marks on her neck…I extend her arms with mine on the bed laying on top of her..her hands were in mine..and. Yes during my trying to fit in I made some poor judgment calls as all young people do. Do I regret my children never, the timing perhaps. Many years and many things happen between then and later years… More bad choices….swinging between Christian and who I truly was. Relationships and more children. Most always it came from me trying to fit in …to be normal… I have learned that is just a setting on a washing machine. Damn I miss those….(Yes the washing machine) It was in the 20th century that.
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